You’re tired, have had a long day at work, and just want to gulp down a pint at the bar down the road with the gang. You want to just relax and not think about work or any other responsibilities. Just imagine the smooth, chilled alcoholic beverage flowing down your throat, calming you down so you can enjoy the evening hours with your friends.
You’re there to relax, but the bartender has his hands absolutely full getting you the drinks you ordered. He’s probably tired from being on his feet at his ‘rush hour’, and there are many ‘faux-pas’ people commit in a bar that would totally get you on the bartender’s bad side. And trust me, you don’t want that. When you think about it, he’s the All-powerful being in the place. He can make sure you wait for ages for your drink, whilst everyone else gets theirs, or you get one on the house. Here are some great things to do to make him black list you.
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- Shout out your Order: Come on now, he’s not deaf. The music may be a little loud, but when you’re standing at the bar with your face so close to his, don’t think you can’t be heard. Because, trust me, you can. Your friends at the table can hear you. Your dog locked up all alone in your house down the road can hear you. Your mum and dad across the country can hear you. You get my point.
- Whistle to get his/her attention: Really? You want me to go into this? Your dog is your pet and lovingly comes to you, tail a-wagging when you whistle. He thinks you want to play or are going to pay him some attention. Well, your bartender is not the one you want to whistle to. He could spit in your drink, God forbid, but you’d probably deserve it.
- Be the jukebox junkie: Yes, we all know you had a bad breakup, but listening to Titanic’s ‘My love will go on’ all night is nobody’s idea of fun, least of all the bartender who needs to deal with all kinds of people (including you).
- Order your drinks One.At.a.Time: You want to order 2 tequila shots, 1 jack and coke, 5 beers, but you do it one after the other. The bartender is skilled enough to remember the entire order. He’s trained to manage getting all the drinks ready. Making him run to and fro to you will really cheese him off.
- Be a fake snob about your drink: This bar doesn’t stock the drink you normally have? Oh, Shame! What has this world come to? Grow up or leave. No bartender wants to hear a whiny thing go on and on about some drink they haven’t heard of.
- Step behind the bar: No matter how many times I say this it can’t be enough. That is sacred territory. You are heading into the dragon’s lair. Step one foot into his private space and you’re minced meat, or thrown out (whichever comes first).
- Not knowing what you want: Bartenders can’t read minds, and they certainly don’t have the time to read yours even if they could. Don’t ask, ‘I want a drink’, and expect them to whip up something which was exactly what you were looking for. Be a little specific so they can make you an amazing concoction.
- Being RUDE: Do I need to explain? Treating your bartender like he’s your servant is THE worst way to behave in a bar. Courtesy and good behavior win you more brownie points (and possibly a beer on the house) than being a total jerk.
So go ahead, go out for a drink, don’t do the above points and treat your bartender like the king he is.