What to do to royally piss off your bartender

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You’re tired, have had a long day at work, and just want to gulp down a pint at the bar down the road with the gang. You want to just relax and not think about work or any other responsibilities. Just imagine the smooth, chilled alcoholic beverage flowing down your throat, calming you down so you can enjoy the evening hours with your friends.

You’re there to relax, but the bartender has his hands absolutely full getting you the drinks you ordered. He’s probably tired from being on his feet at his ‘rush hour’, and there are many ‘faux-pas’ people commit in a bar that would totally get you on the bartender’s bad side. And trust me, you don’t want that. When you think about it, he’s the All-powerful being in the place. He can make sure you wait for ages for your drink, whilst everyone else gets theirs, or you get one on the house. Here are some great things to do to make him black list you. :)

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  1. Shout out your Order: Come on now, he’s not deaf. The music may be a little loud, but when you’re standing at the bar with your face so close to his, don’t think you can’t be heard. Because, trust me, you can. Your friends at the table can hear you. Your dog locked up all alone in your house down the road can hear you. Your mum and dad across the country can hear you. You get my point.
  2. Whistle to get his/her attention: Really? You want me to go into this? Your dog is your pet and lovingly comes to you, tail a-wagging when you whistle. He thinks you want to play or are going to pay him some attention. Well, your bartender is not the one you want to whistle to. He could spit in your drink, God forbid, but you’d probably deserve it.
  3. Be the jukebox junkie: Yes, we all know you had a bad breakup, but listening to Titanic’s ‘My love will go on’ all night is nobody’s idea of fun, least of all the bartender who needs to deal with all kinds of people (including you).
  4. Order your drinks One.At.a.Time: You want to order 2 tequila shots, 1 jack and coke, 5 beers, but you do it one after the other. The bartender is skilled enough to remember the entire order. He’s trained to manage getting all the drinks ready. Making him run to and fro to you will really cheese him off.
  5. Be a fake snob about your drink: This bar doesn’t stock the drink you normally have? Oh, Shame! What has this world come to? Grow up or leave. No bartender wants to hear a whiny thing go on and on about some drink they haven’t heard of.
  6. Step behind the bar: No matter how many times I say this it can’t be enough. That is sacred territory. You are heading into the dragon’s lair. Step one foot into his private space and you’re minced meat, or thrown out (whichever comes first).
  7. Not knowing what you want: Bartenders can’t read minds, and they certainly don’t have the time to read yours even if they could. Don’t ask, ‘I want a drink’, and expect them to whip up something which was exactly what you were looking for. Be a little specific so they can make you an amazing concoction.
  8. Being RUDE: Do I need to explain? Treating your bartender like he’s your servant is THE worst way to behave in a bar. Courtesy and good behavior win you more brownie points (and possibly a beer on the house) than being a total jerk.

 

So go ahead, go out for a drink, don’t do the above points and treat your bartender like the king he is. :)

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Famous Onscreen Characters and the drinks they made famous

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We’re bombarded by so much information in today’s social savvy world, that it becomes hard to ignore little bits of information floating our way. Movies and TV shows have influenced us like no other medium, and when it comes to alcohol, we think we know everything. After all, we’ve got the money, the swag and well, that’s how James Bond did it. There’s so much more to a drink than what meet the eye, and here you’ll get a sneak peek into who drank What, and how popular they’ve become.

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  1. Martini – shaken, not stirred: Can you guess who said this iconic line? Yes, you’re correct. James Bond. He’s a man’s man, suave and a gentleman who flirts with danger. The Martini which became famous in the 1920’s, is a drink of gin and vermouth decorated with an olive or a lemon twist. H.L.Mencken, also known as the ‘Bard of Baltimore’ called it “the only American invention as perfect as the sonnet.
  2. The Cosmopolitan: Generally ordered by Carrie Bradshaw and her group of girls in Sex and the City, this pink Drink gained fame amongst the young metropolitan crowd. Served in a large cocktail or ‘martini’ glass, is a cocktail made of vodka, triple sec, cranberry juice and freshly squeezed lime juice.
  3. White Russian: ‘The Big Lebowski’ is noticeably associated with one drink. The main character known as ‘The Dude’ constantly sips on it the entire movie and actually tells you the recipe for the drink: Vodka, Kahlúa and ice cream.
  4. Manhattan: A take on a martini, this drink became the fashionable drink to order after the famous scene in ‘Some Like It Hot’ starring Marilyn Monroe. A touch of sweet vermouth with straight rye whiskey with bitters and a maraschino cherry will get you the perfect Manhattan.
  5. The Orange Whip: Made famous by the Blues Brothers, this would traditionally be made by mixing one egg, orange sherbet and orange juice until the concoction is absolutely smooth. Before this movie, most people would’ve thought, you want a WHAT?
  6. Beer: The essential drink in every party, this has been featured in many movies and TV shows, like Shawshank Redemption, HIMYM, Friends to name a few. Can’t go wrong with this, so Cheers!

 

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This just shows how movies and TV shows can influence the popularity of some drinks. So why don’t you head down to your favourite bar and order one of the above?

There are so many types of alcohol available today in bars, taverns, restaurants that sometimes we can get a little confused on what to order. Ever wondered what everybody else around you orders in a bar? You can’t really go snooping around to find out, that would just be creepy. So, we’ve done the research for you so you don’t have to. Now, you can be one with the crowd and know what to order next time.

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  1. Beer: Not surprisingly, this has turned out to be the Numero Uno choice for many people. It’s just about water, malt, hops and yeast. What? Huh? Basically, it is probably the cheapest drink on the menu, won’t get you roaring drunk, let you have a good time out with friends, and in case you have a hole in your pocket, you can nurse one the entire evening.
  2. Rum and Coke: This is the classic drink also known as ‘Cuba Libre’. It’s a mix of your favourite rum and cola. If you’re trying to be a teetotaler smarty pants, you could order a virgin Cuban libre. (That’s just coke). Haha.

Cosmopolitan: Carrie Bradshaw from ‘Sex and the City’ made this really famous and has made the pink drink a cocktail favourite. The colour of Pink Lemonade, this drink is a woman’s choice for an evening out with her gal pals. Served in a cute Martini glass, this is a cute sized drink packing a powerful punch (depending which bar you go to), and

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Famous Bar Signs

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You have to be witty to get a person who’s just passing by, to stop, read your sign, have a laugh and walk in. That, my friends, is talent. A sign that shows a sense of humor is more likely to attract people, and that is saying something especially in today’s world where we are bombarded by ads everywhere.  Let’s find out what hilarious messages can be found lounging around in front of bars and taverns.

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  1. We have beer as cold as your girlfriend’s heart: This is great for the men who have been dumped by their exes; you get to moan about her cold heart while you drink some cold beer.
  2. I don’t want to get technical or anything, but according to Chemistry, alcohol is a solution! This has got to appeal to all the science geeks out there. Smart in Science, Smart solution.
  3. Guys, No shirt – No Service. Ladies, No Shirt – No Charge. Cheeky, but this is bound to bring a smile to your face.
  4. I’ll trade ya – My Air-conditioning for your Sobriety. This has got to be deal for the bankers around. A pretty good deal if you ask me.
  5. Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad. For all the story tellers out there, this is bound to be one source of inspiration.
  6. You can’t find Happiness at the bottom of the beer. Well, no kidding. Who is happy when their beer runs out? Are you an optimist? Realist? Well, whatever your glass holds, half empty or full, this logic makes the most sense. So go fill your glass up!
  7. I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves. Haha, how many of us have tried to be the next John Travolta acting out some groovy dance steps from Saturday Night Fever? (Falling flat on our faces wasn’t part of the show though.)
  8. Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says to love your enemy. You can’t argue with religion there now. Best to go love thy enemy and drown your sorrows.
  9. Whiskey is sunlight held together by water. Talk about the poetic heart and the alcoholic mind. Poetry in motion.
  10. Come in and try the worst Rum & Coke that one guy on Yelp ever had in his life. Way to transform one bad review into an advertising ploy.
  11. Pubs! The official sun block of Ireland. For the fashion conscious people out there scared of a tan – here’s the perfect solution come up by a bar owner. 100% effective!
  12. If you don’t drink, how will your friends know you love them at 2 am? We’ve all been there, done that. Gushed out our love and appreciation for a friend who probably doesn’t appreciate the 2 am ‘I love you so much’ call.
  13. Oh? You hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY and they meet AT THE BAR. Good to know someone has your back when you want to moan about your job. Kindred spirits just waiting for you at your pub.
  14. There are better things in this world, but Alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them. Kind of a consolation prize that works very well in making the real life problems get a little hazy. Didn’t get that job you were looking for, have a drink!
  15. Beer is now cheaper than gas. Don’t drive. Very witty sign about the gas prices.

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The above signs show that you don’t have to work in a famous advertising firm to get witty slogans that could draw customers in. Bar Owners go the extra mile in trying to attract you to walk into their bar, and the above signs definitely prove that the signs work!

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